Let me preface this entry by stating that I DO NOT have a public opinion regarding the current events in Iraq (maybe renamed iRaq if it was up to Apple?). I find that stating one or the other opinion would NOT change another person’s mind anyway and would only result in one or the other group sending me nasty emails. I do have a private opinion, but that’s between me and my friends and family. I think that since I keep my music lyric free I should also keep it politics-free. My music is intended for all humans, including fascists and communists and every shade in between….
To paraphrase John Cage, if you try to improve the world you only make matters worse…
My grandfather fought in two world wars and he used to tell me that he thought that when the heads of two countries want to go to war they should be given boxing gloves and enter a ring. Somebody had the same idea in the eighties because the Frankie goes to Hollywood video for their song “When Two Tribes go to War” featured Reagan and Brezhnev in a boxing match….
What if we worked on that idea for a little while? Each country gets to have a team of say 10 or 100 “warriors” that meet in the colosseum on a specific day. I think 100 fighters would look a lot more impressive, would involve more strategy and would make for a better show. This gives each country the same sized “army” and a country would not have a population advantage e.g. China vs Belgium. The colosseum could be purpose-built, although something like the ancient Roman colosseum would be perfect…On the other hand letting different cities host a “War” similar to the Olympics might be a nice touch and would encourage tourism….The fight would be run by the UN who would be able to sell the TV rights, advertisements, concessions etc… Should the combatants fight barehanded or be allowed certain ritualistic instruments? Maybe blood is important for the catharsis of war! Maybe the fighters should use axes? Or maybe there would be a UN arsenal available for everyone. The individuals would pass by racks of approved weapons (using the UN blue for the weapons would be a nice touch?) and choose their weapon for the fight. Simple rules – the simpler the better! – a flag on either side that needs to be protected/captured. Last flag standing wins. Obviously the UN would scan for GMOs (or GMH – genetically modified humans) and any sort of implanted devices. Any “soldier” found to be genetically altered or having implants gets to watch from the sidelines and his “team” is one man short. I don’t mean to limit this to men at all…it could be a gender-free-for-all, but I find that in general men still have certain caveman-ish genes that make them more apt to do this well. I think betting could be good with a high tax on betting going to education…Of course knowing the date for the fight in advance would allow the media to really create a perfect build-up to the event!!!
Let me end this post by saying that I am NOT being insensitive to current events – it’s just that thoughts like the above help me digest what’s going on. A little satire goes a long way…..