I have been wondering about an aspect of manhood that I observe in worldwide culture and, if I am honest, also in myself.
Men seem to have this tendency to fight up to a point and then they say fuck it and storm off. Or they threaten to burn it all down. Maybe this is a result of thousands of years of fighting and wars. I think at times everyone was walking around with PTSD because they were force-drafted into battles and most men had seen and smelled the horror of a battle’s aftermath.
The modern version of this is, of course, to vote for a populist “politician” who promises to destroy the establishment – a worldwide phenomenon supported by the rise of Facebook and social media. Let’s end it all, because to slowly, slowly fix and repair and rebuild is not something that most men do well.
You may have heard of the term Truemmerfrauen, literally Rubble Women or Ruin Women, a German word for the women who cleared the ruins after WW2. They say it’s because there weren’t a lot of men to do the job as they died during the war or were injured or in POW camps… but I don’t think that’s the whole truth. To sift through rubble, to slowly mend something… most men don’t do that well.
I am trying to become better at mending and building. Doing things that take time and that unfold slowly, helps… like baking bread for example. But the urge to say fuck it always lurks somewhere underneath in the dark recesses.